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Megan's Dating Tip: Be romantic. Don't be afraid to show your affection and attraction to your date. Compliment them, touch them, kiss them, hug them. Make them feel special and desired.

Okay, let's have a real talk. If you're a queer woman trying to date in Sacramento, your first thought might be, "Where do we… go?" We all know the apps—HER, Hinge, Bumble—and they're fine, but sometimes you just want to meet someone in real life without getting carpal tunnel from swiping. And while our city has a proud LGBTQ+ history, we don't exactly have a dedicated lesbian bar to call our own right now.

But here’s the beautiful thing about our community: we’re creative and we’re everywhere. You just have to know the right places to look. So, from my Notes app to you, here is my personal guide to meeting amazing queer women and planning a date that might just make you want to call the U-Haul. (Kidding! Mostly.)

Where to Meet Queer Women: Our Natural Habitats

Since we can't just default to a single bar, finding each other is more about tapping into the community's vibe.

  • The Pop-Ups, Parties, and Queer Nights: This is where the magic is happening. Our community thrives on events. Keep an eye on Instagram and Eventbrite for things like "Sapphic Nights" or queer dance parties. Venues like The Flamingo House and some of the spots in the Lavender Heights district often host events that draw a wonderfully diverse crowd of queer women and non-binary folks.

  • The Stereotypes Are True (And They're Great):

    • Sports: Honestly, this is a top-tier option. Check out a Sac City Rollers roller derby bout. The crowd (and the skaters) are full of incredible queer women. Joining an inclusive sports league like Varsity Gay League for kickball or softball is also a fantastic way to meet people naturally over a season.

    • The Great Outdoors: The trails along the American River Parkway are perfect for a hike or bike ride. Dog parks, especially Truitt Bark Park in Midtown, are also prime spots for a casual "Oh, your dog is so cute!" moment that could lead to more.

  • The Artsy & Bookish Scene:

    • Independent Bookstores: A woman reading in the LGBTQ+ section of Capital Books on K or Avid Reader? That’s the start of a rom-com. Go say hi.

    • Craft Fairs & Workshops: Look for local makers' markets (like those at Public Land) or sign up for a pottery or art class. It's a low-pressure way to meet other creative, hands-on women.

    • Second Saturday Art Walk: A classic for a reason. It’s a relaxed evening of walking, talking, and appreciating art—a perfect setting for a spontaneous conversation.

  • The Everyday Vibe:

    • Queer-Friendly Cafes: Certain coffee shops just have the vibe. The patios at Temple Coffee, Naked Lounge, or Old Soul Co. are often filled with queer women working, reading, or catching up with friends.

    • Breweries with Great Patios: The craft beer scene isn't just for the boys. A sunny afternoon on the patio at Device Brewing or Fieldwork is a great, casual place to hang out.

Our City, Our Landmarks

Falling in love with someone new is even better when you’re both in love with your city.

  • The Rainbow Crosswalks: At 20th and K, this is the heart of our community. It’s a beautiful, vibrant symbol of our presence and pride in Sacramento.

  • The Tower Bridge: That gorgeous, golden bridge against a sunset sky? It’s pure romance. A walk or drive across it is a quintessential Sacramento moment.

  • Capitol Park & The Rose Garden: It's our city's sanctuary. The World Peace Rose Garden inside is one of the most beautiful, serene places in the city. It’s perfect for clearing your head or taking a quiet, romantic stroll.

  • The Murals of Midtown: I love that our city is a canvas. The giant, colorful murals from the Wide Open Walls festival make just walking around an adventure and provide the perfect backdrop for a cute date selfie.

Planning the Perfect Date

You’ve matched, you’ve chatted, and now it's time for the first date. Here are some ideas that go beyond a nervous coffee.

  • First Date (Cute, Casual, Low-Pressure):

    • A Bookstore & a Drink: Meet at Capital Books, browse the shelves and learn about each other’s tastes, then walk to a nearby bar like The Snug or Bailarin Cellars to talk about your finds.

    • Farmers Market Stroll: The Midtown Farmers Market on Saturday is an ideal first date. There are flowers, coffee, amazing food, and tons of people-watching. It feels active and full of life.

    • A Casual Drink on a Great Patio: Grab a Frosé at The Roost or a cider at Two Rivers Cider. It’s a step up from coffee but still very relaxed.

  • Second Date (Okay, I Like You, Let's Do This):

    • Dinner with Ambiance: You can’t go wrong with the stunningly romantic patio at Paragary's. For something shareable and fun, get tapas and sangria at Aioli Bodega Española.

    • Picnic in the Park: This is a top-tier romantic move. Grab amazing sandwiches from Selland's or cheese and bread from the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op, a blanket, and head to McKinley Park for a picnic by the rose garden.

    • Dinner and an Indie Film: Catch a movie at the beautiful, historic Crest Theatre. It feels so much more special than a generic multiplex.

  • The "Let's Make a Memory" Date:

    • Day Trip to Wine Country: We're so close to the Clarksburg wine region. Spend an afternoon at the Old Sugar Mill tasting different wines. It feels like a real getaway, but it’s only 20 minutes away.

    • Floating the American River: The ultimate Sacramento summer adventure. It’s a great test of teamwork and a super fun way to spend a hot afternoon together.

    • See Some Live Music: Check out the lineups at Harlow's or Ace of Spades. Sharing a favorite band or discovering a new one together is an amazing way to connect.

Dating as a queer woman here is all about creating our own spaces and finding joy in the community we've built.

Happy dating, and I hope to see you out there!

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